These aren't the Droids I'm voting for

I've been under the weather for the past few days, and with all the political crap flowing through the news wires, conversations and my head, I'd thought I'd take time to check in on some old childhood friends--namely the Star War Trilogy which just came out on DVD. The old films never looked better. Yeah, Lucas has done some more digital tweaking here and there (Han and Greedo both shoot first now) but it's just good, old fashioned story telling, which is a switch from the countless remakes and sequels being churned out these days.

But as I tried to get into those stories again, my mind kept going back to the spin I'm faced with on a daily basis. Something was nagging me. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but then it dawned on me. Threepio, with his constant negativity and bitching, was starting to sound like John Kerry.

A whole lot like John Kerry.

I'm not kidding...check this out and see if this doesn't sound familar:

THREEPIO: We'll be destroyed for sure. This is madness!
We're doomed!
Secret mission? What plans? What are you talking about? I'm not getting in there!
Are you sure this things safe?
How did I get into this mess? I really don't know how.
No more adventures. I'm not going that way.
That malfunctioning little twerp. This is all his fault! He tricked me into going this way, but he'll do no better.
I'm only a droid and not very knowledgeable about such things. Not on this planet, anyways. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure which planet I'm on.
I told him not to go, but he's faulty, malfunctioning; kept babbling on about his mission.

And from The Empire Strikes Back:

INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON -- COCKPIT



THREEPIO: Captain Solo, this time you have gone too far. (Chewie

growls) No, I will not be quiet, Chewbacca. Why doesn't anyone listen

to me?



HAN: (to Chewie) The fleet is beginning to break up. Go back and stand

by the manual release for the landing claw.



        Chewie barks, struggles from his seat, and climbs out of

     the cabin.



THREEPIO: I really don't see how thats going to help. Surrender is a

perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances. The Empire

may be gracious enough...



        Leia reaches over and shuts off Threepio, mid-sentence.



HAN: Thank you.